Amee's Story

Amee Beckner - In March 2018, my life turned upside down with one phone call and three words: metastatic breast cancer.

Months before my diagnosis, I was physically strong and had just taken the leap to become a business owner. Since then, cancer and its treatment have taken me on a roller coaster of more than eight years of uncertainty, pain, survivor’s guilt, and a frankly ridiculous number of medical appointments and needle jabs.

The chemotherapy is complete, but my ongoing treatment has included more than 30 CT scans, 92+ blood draws, 338 injections, and more than 477 needle sticks. Each one represents another appointment, another test, another bill.

During my first year and a half, I had massive ascites, with 31 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen through surgery, paracentesis, and an abdominal catheter. I’ve dealt with infections, osteoporosis, osteonecrosis of the jaw, and Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, aka “broken heart syndrome.” Both my port and catheter became infected and required hospitalization and removal. Osteoporosis helped me break my ankle and my wrist. A bone-strengthening medication caused pieces of my jawbone to work their way through my gums. And I’ve declined some major treatments because their side effects weren’t worth the trade-off in quality of life.

Cancer has taken eight friends, acquaintances, and family members since I was diagnosed. All but one were younger than me.

But the numbers are only part of the story.

Because every scan is a reminder that life can change in the shortest of instances. Because every needle stick is a reminder of all the medical staff who have cared for me. Because every new setback survived is another proof of resilience.

Yup, survived again. Good job, not dying!

Metastatic breast cancer doesn’t come with a finish line. There’s no triumphant bell ringing, no “you’re done,” no neat little ending. I don’t worry about IF it will come back, but WHEN it will wake up. I’m not a survivor, but I am surviving.

Eight years in, I’ve just earned a master’s degree and taken a job in a field I had only ever dreamed about. And sometimes I even have days when I barely think about cancer at all.